


Extra Large

by AwkwardBlueKitty



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBlueKitty/pseuds/AwkwardBlueKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has a very interesting talk with his dad. A very interesting talk. Poor Stiles will never let Scott hide his condoms in his room again. Oh well, this talk was coming so it's not that bad. First fic for Teen Wolf :) Sterek</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extra Large

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for Teen Wolf so I hope I did alright. My parents got me into Teen Wolf and I'm loving it!! lol I saw the light...the light that is Sterek! I had originally planned to make this a short 500 to 600 word story count but I don't know what happened (well, i do and it's called Sterek). Sorry for any misspelled words or bad grammar mistakes here. lol Enjoy p.s. this popped into my head when I saw the episode where Scott's mom finds the box of condoms in Scott's room!

All Stiles wants to do is go home and do his homework. The weekend is coming up and he really, really doesn’t want to have to worry about some damn pieces of paper with words on them. Plus, he wants to be done with it before dinner. So once he gets home, he goes straight to his room. Opening the door and walking in, Stiles jumps up in surprise while holding his chest as he looks at the person sitting calmly in his room. “D-dad?! Oh my god, I’m so use to other people scaring the crap out of me and now I have to worry about you too? Actually, I’m still not used to people surprising me out of nowhere. How does one even get use to something like that, like really? I know tha-” Stiles pauses when he sees his dad holds his hand up, gesturing him to stop for a moment. “Um, so yeah, what’s up dad?”

“Stiles.”

 _Oh shit, I do not like that tone. Dammit, I haven’t done anything…that I can think of…_ “I do believe that’s what people call me, yes.”

“Care to explain this to me, son?” the older man holds up a small black box that he was hiding behind him. Mr. Stilinski watches as so many different emotions cross his son’s face. “I came in here to look for, uh, a highlighter and found this instead.”

“Look, I can actually explain about the box of cond-wait, what? Since when do you use highlighters? Like, really dad? Don’t yank my chain, bad enough it’s short so be gentle with it. Couldn’t you have come up with a better excuse to come snooping in my room? Like, I don’t know, how about you were looking for unicorns or something? I would totally believe that more over the highlighter story.”

“It doesn’t matter why I’m in here, just tell me about this?” and again, Mr. Stilinski waves the box and reluctantly adds “I’m not even going to mention how there’s only two left in here.”

“Eww, dad! Don’t go looking into other people’s boxes! I don’t.”

“Stiles.”

“No, seriously, I didn’t even know there were only two left because there are NOT mine, dad. That box of condoms is not mine. They belong to, um, a friend who for his sake shall be called Nameless. It’s really for his protection and since you’re the sheriff, protecting other people is, like, a very high priority of yours, right? So you understand.”

“Stiles…please talk to me. I know I’ve been busy with work and all. And I can understand if you found it hard to approach me about something like this. But yo-”

“Whoa, dad! I’m dead serious about that box not being mine but a friend’s. He asked me if I could hide it here because, you might find this funny, his mom found them and almost had a heartattack. Heck, he almost had a heartattack when she confronted him about it. I didn’t think it would be a big deal when he asked. I was too busy being a good friend and happy he’s using protection. I’m such a saint.”

Mr. Stilinski stares at his son for a good minute before asking “There Scott’s?”

Stiles stares at his father for a good minute before replying “No, they belong to a person I dub Nameless.”

“Right. So Scott asked you to hide his condoms because Melissa found them and freaked out. I can relate to that. And does Melissa still know what her son is up to? And with who?”

“Dad! I don’t know. I don’t exactly have sex talks with her about her son because that’s…that’s just extremely gross and so wrong! That’s between Mrs. McCall, Scott, and the other people involve having _that_ conversation. Not us. We’re cool.”

“Other people? I thought Scott got back together with Allison Argent.”

“What? Other people? Wow, dad, wow. You’re getting old because I said ‘the other person’ and totally not ‘the other people’. As if there’s more than one person. Scott and Allison are, in fact, together. By the way, did you hear that through the grape vine at work? Gossip isn’t good in your old age, dad.”   

“Huh-uh, so Scott’s cheating on Argent’s daughter?”

Stiles groans into his hands and wonders if a unicorn could burst through his bedroom walls and spirit him away or whatever it is they do. He’s so going to have a very long and lengthy chat with his best friend. Naturally after he takes his revenge on him for this situation he’s in now. “He’s not cheating, dad.”

“So he’s fooling around with Argent’s daughter? Does she know about Scott’s, um, extra curriculum activities?”

“Wow, you are too adorable for words, dad. I just want you to know that.”

“Stiles.”

“I just feel like I’m breaking BFF code here. Actually, I already broke it but please don’t make me break it any more. For one thing, I don’t think we have super glue in the house and I’m naturally not good with glue. I still remember third grade and bah! I do not want to remember that now.”

“I don’t want to remember either and there’s a reason why there is no super glue in the house.” Sighing, the older man gets up and walks towards the window in the bedroom. “I just don’t want to receive a call about how I have to arrest Chris Argent for murdering Scott McCall over him cheating on his little girl, is all.”

“Oh, don’t worry dad. She knows so it’s all cool.” When his father gives him a baffle look, Stiles knows he just confessed to something he really shouldn’t have. “I seem to have done something completely uncool. Look dad, if I tell you something, can you promise me it does not leave this room. At all.”

There is silence in the room and Stiles briefly wonders if he should run out of his room like a bat out of hell. He’s young and hot, he can totally do it and make it out of the front door. “Alright. As long as no one is in harm’s way, I won’t tell a soul. You can trust me, Stiles. Trust me to tell me anything.”

Stiles feels like his dad is talking about something else here. But nothing is popping up in his head at the moment. _Oh well, I’ll think about it later._ “Well, you see, like I said Scott and Allison are together, doing the whole dating thing again. It’s just…there is someone else in the mix too. You know the whole more the merrier thing, right? It’s actually really cute if you ask me.”

It takes several minutes for this to register through Mr. Stilinski mind before he hesitantly looks into his son’s eyes and asks “Are you…are you in the mix? Are you the ‘merrier’?”

Stiles’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when he hears his father’s words. He’s going to need a bucket and a mop. “I think I’m going to throw up or something. Where’s my unicorn to hold my hair back for me while I vomit pure horror?” Clutching his stomach and mouth, Stiles walks over to his bed and drops himself on it. “Dad…please don’t ever, ever think I’m with them. I love them but just no. No, no, no, no. Besides my boyfriend would be crazy jealous if I was.”

As soon as those words leave Stiles’s mouth, he freezes. As he lies completely stiff on his bed, he furiously starts praying to any god out there his dad is so old that he didn’t quite hear him fully. Or just the ‘my boyfriend’ part will be good for him. _I’m so getting back at you for this, Scott!_  

“You have a boyfriend…? You love, um, like guys, Stiles?”

Stiles feels his father’s gentle hands on his back, patting him in a soothingly gesture. This, of course, freaks him out. He didn’t expect his father to sound so calm about the fact his son has a boyfriend. He also couldn’t picture his dad being disgusted either but then again, he never let himself go down that train of thought. Too worried and scared to travel it. Turing his head to the side, Stiles whispers “Yeah…but it’s more like I just love this one dude. I don’t like other guys so I guess that makes me bi because I still like girls.”

Dead air fills the bedroom as both father and son sit on the bed. Neither of them move or make a sound for a few minutes. That is until the older Stilinski breaks the silence by softly asking “And are you going to tell me who it is or am I going to have to guess?”  

“Go ahead and guess. This should be fun” although Stiles says that, his tone says something completely different.

Mr. Stilinski removes his hand as his son shifts into a sitting position on his bed. “Well, I know it’s not Scott because you said so.”

“Love him too much like a brother to do anything gross with him that involves condoms. Try again.” Stiles knows his father is going to guess who it is in a few tries. It’s not like he hangs out with a lot of people to begin with.

“Okay then, how about…how about Jackson Whittemore? I see you two hangout a lot lately.”

“Oh my god, no, dad! Besides Lydia would kill me if we were which we’re not. Try again.” A chill goes down Stiles’s spine at the thought. “Gak, I can’t believe you said his name, dad.”

“And I can’t believe you’re making me guess who your boyfriend is” the older Stilinski counters back. “Touché, dad” the younger Stilinski replies back.

“Alright, how about that kid, the one who started hanging out with you guys? I think his name is Isaac, right?”

“Nope! Nope, he’s not the one and yeah, he’s name is Isaac. Isaac Lahey.”

“Really? But you two look, um, close?”

“Dad, you’re completely off your rocker if you think Isaac and I are together. He’s cool and we hangout but that’s it. Anyway he’s too busy sharing Scott with Allison to date me.”

“Wait, what? He’s the ‘merrier’? And is Allison okay with that?”

 _He’s still hung on that ‘merrier’ part_ Stiles silently thinks which he has to admit he finds it kinda of cute. His dad is just too precious for words sometimes. His best friend is so going to kill him. “Scott dating Isaac and Allison. Yes both Allison and Isaac know and no, they don’t date each other. They’re close friends who just so happen to share a boyfriend together. What can I say? Scott loves them both and they’re willing to share him. They have a great system going on and for the love of everything holy, please don’t tell Scott’s mom about this. She doesn’t know yet about Isaac and I hope you agree with me when I say I think that conversation about her son being with a guy should come from Scott and no one else.” Stiles notices an odd look pass through his father’s eyes and wants to question him about it but he’s interrupted.

“I understand and agree with you. As long as they know what they’re doing and not hurting themselves over this, I guess I don’t have anything else to say on the matter. I try again?”

“Yup.”

“Hmm, so I know it’s not Scott, Jackson, and Isaac…”

Stiles can see the gears turning in his dad’s head. He knows it’s only a matter of seconds before his dad figures it out and loses his mind over the guy his son is seeing.

“Oh, is it that other friend who’s also into guys? You followed him into a club once, a gay club in fact? Guess I should have listened to you then, huh?”

“Danny? No, dad. It’s not him and I wasn’t into guys or the guy then. Well, I think I was but didn’t really know it then, you know what I mean?” There’s only one person left in the group who he hangs out with that his dad hasn’t said yet. Stiles can’t believe this is happening. All he wanted to do when he came home from school was to do his homework like a good kid! Why is this happening to him? Yeah, sure he always planned on telling his dad about his boyfriend but lately his dad seemed so stressed over work that he didn’t want to add to it. Look at what his good deed got him into! He hears his father sigh heavily.

“Please don’t tell me it’s….oh dear, please don’t tell me it’s” Mr. Stilinski pauses dramatically as Stiles holds his breath, “Mr. Argent…Allison’s father? He’s married with a daughter, Stiles.”

 _I’m in a nightmare…a very, very awful, demented, nasty, horrible nightmare. That’s the only explanation for this…it has to be!_ Staring at his father in complete horror and shock, Stiles stutters out “Wh-what the hell, dad?! I go to school with his daughter for goodness sake! And he’s married and ancient! How could he be my boyf-boyfr…I’m not even going to finish that sentence because I’m so grossed out by the very thought of it! Dad! I’m dating Derek! Derek Hale who’s hot and younger then that old goat and isn’t married and doesn’t have any kids and is ridiculously hot! I’m dating that Derek, okay! Derek Hale is my boyfriend who I’ve been dating for a little over two months now!” by the time he’s done, he’s panting heavily and notices the small smile on his father’s face. “…um, dad? Did I break you?”

Looking a bit sheepish, the older Stilinski says “I came across Derek earlier today. We had a nice chat.” He was getting a cup of coffee when he bumped into the other man.

“About what?”

“You.”

“Okay, I know I’m awesome and all but me? You guys talked about me?”

“Stiles, it’s kind of hard not to notice the way you two look at each other lately. So when I happen to come across Derek today, a complete coincidence by the way, I…um, asked him a few questions. Now don’t give me that look, Stiles!”

“Dad! I can’t believe you! What in the world did you ‘ask’ him? You didn’t threaten him, did you?”

“It’s a father’s job to threaten would be suitors, Stiles. I just wanted to confirm a few things with him. I even invited him over to dinner today to talk some more.”

 _Someone please wake me up!_ Stiles shouts in his mind a few times. “Oh my god, you just invited him and he said ‘yes’ to you?”

“Well, he better have said yes to the father of his boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry but my mind can’t compute all of this. It just can’t…”

“What’s there to compute? Your boyfriend is coming over for dinner to eat with you and your father? I don’t understand what the big deal is, Stiles.”

“So you’re completely fine with me dating a dude who just so happens to be Derek Hale?”

“Well, I never said I was completely fine with it. But I’m not going to disown you and kick you out of the house for wanting to be with someone of the same sex, Stiles. As for the person being Derek…well, I still need to talk to him. Couldn’t really have that talk I wanted…too many witness if something had gone wrong in our chat.”

“DAD!”

“Joking! I’m not going to kill him!” Mr. Stilinski coughs a few times and gives Stiles an innocent look. “What? I’m not going to shoot him or stab him or anything, Stiles. Just going to talk to him. I appreciate the fact he didn’t hide or hesitant when I asked him if he liked you like that. He was honest about it. I can tell he cares for you deeply and…” This is what actually led him to snoop around his son’s room because while Derek did admit to liking, actually, loving his son he didn’t confirm or deny dating Stiles. Derek told him it’s not his place to answer the ‘are you two dating or something’ question.

Mr. Stilinski felt like something was going on with these two and wondered why his son hadn’t come to him about dating Derek or at least having feelings for Derek. He understood Stiles might feel weird about telling him how he’s dating another male but still. He just wanted Stiles to tell him the true even if he had to kinda of play dumb and learn a few things he was really better off not knowing. How does one share a boyfriend? It’s no wonder Scott only has two left out of twenty-four. The relief he feels about knowing those condoms belong to someone else, who isn’t his son or his son’s boyfriend, feels great. “You care for him deeply too. I can see it in your eyes, son.”

“Yeah, I do. I was going to tell you about us. I really was but I wanted to wait for the right time. But I guess I don’t have to worry about doing it now since you know about us. It’s still very new to me…the fact I was able to bag a hot guy like him still blows me away!”

“What? You’re a great catch, son.”

“Oh, I know that! After all, look at my boyfriend!” Stiles laughs out loud when his father rolls his eyes at him. “I just know Allison, Isaac, and Lydia are totally jealous of me. I’m so freaking awesome dad that you should pat yourself on the back for helping give birth to this awesomeness right here!”

“Such a modest son I have. Well, I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner” chuckling, Stilinski walks towards the door but pauses. “So this box…it’s really belongs to Scott and not…” the older man gestures towards the black box lying on the ground that says Magnum Large Size Condoms across it.

“Yes, dad. It’s Scott’s, I swear! Not mine or Derek’s, okay?” Stiles picks the box up and puts it back in a drawer. “Go make dinner, dad! I’m starving! And make sure to make it really great because Derek’s going to eat it and I don’t want him to think I eat bad tasting food.”

Mr. Stilinski laughs out loud at that and proceeds to walk out the room but not before hearing something. “As if those would fit him, he’s bigger” Stiles mumbles lowly which he unfortunately hears. Fortunate for Stiles though, he needs to make dinner so he quietly and quickly leaves the bedroom. Mr. Stilinski feels like he’ll have _that_ talk with his son another day. Or with Derek after dinner, he might enjoy that talk more then with Stiles. He just needs to make sure his gun is loaded beforehand.

Once his father is out the door, Stiles closes his door and locks it. He then grabs his phone and starts texting. _When u said c u at dinner I didnt know it also meant with my DAD!_ Stiles only has to wait a minute or two before Derek replies back to his text message.

**_I’m having dinner with you and your father today at seven._ **

_ Yeah, tell me something I dont know! _

**_I see he mentioned our encounter earlier today._ **

_ Yeah! Thanks for declaring ur love for me to him. I told him about us. _

**_Should I have lied about it? My feelings?_ **

_ No, of course not. Never. I just wished u give me heads up besides seeing me at dinner. Like expect a talk with ur dad or something today. _

**_He told me not to. That he wanted to talk to you first and he would mention dinner and me to you._ **

_ …oh. Well, that was nice of u to obey him, I guess _

**_You’re welcome._ **

_ SOO he said u declared ur love for me without any hesitation  _ _ J _ _ _

**_Stiles._ **

_ Yeah, babe? btw I thought that was sweet of u!! <3 someone’s getting dessert tonight! ;) _

**_Oh, really? If I survive dinner with your father, I plan on eating my fill and then some._ **

_ Lol can’t wait!! Be on time!  _ _ J _ _ got homework to do now _

**_Alright, later._ **

Putting his phone down on the desk, Stiles grabs his books and starts doing his homework with a smile on his face. _Man, it’s going to be an interesting dinner tonight…I hope I still have a boyfriend by the end of the day!_

****


End file.
